《No One Loved Me》 Chapter 1 My dad was always busy. Even on weekends, he was rarely at home. When he returned home early, he was frequently furious with my mother and me. He had been working hard outside, but when he returned home, he did not give people a break. There were various reasons why my dad couldn¡¯t rest. The house is dirty, the side dishes are bland, my mother¡¯s expression is depressed, and I don¡¯t act cute like the neighbors¡¯ daughters. One day, my mother, who had been silently listening to my father¡¯s yells, packed her belongings and left the house, The following day was the weekend. My father made several phone calls to my mother. ¡®The person you are trying to reach is currently not available, please try again later¡­..¡¯ Through the phone, I heard my mother¡¯s strong determination. My dad chuckled and looked at me. ¡°¡­¡­Oh. Do you want to spend time with your dad?¡± As a child, I fell for my dad¡¯s friendly voice. My hair was tied in two clumsily, and I wore my favorite dress and pink stockings. I also pulled out a pair of red shoes that I hadn¡¯t worn in a few weeks when I went to kindergarten. When my father and I arrived by car, there was a pretty older sister waiting for us. ¡°Hello? Is it¡­..you?¡± Because I was shy, I hid behind my father¡¯s legs. ¡°You must be polite to your friend.¡± When I bowed, the sister smiled and covered her mouth with her hand. ¡°Her mother suddenly went to her parent¡¯s house. I don¡¯t have a place to leave her. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°No. it¡¯s nice to be here like this, because you and I are husband and wife, and¡­ I¡¯m glad she¡¯s our daughter.¡± We drove to the amusement park in my dad¡¯s car. I picked up a cute animal headband and took a picture. Dad spoke to the pretty older sister in a friendly tone and with a gentle expression I had never seen before. We had a lot of fun then and then went to a family restaurant for a kids¡¯ meal. It was difficult to get my hands on the omurice with the small flag on it because it was a waste just to look at. ¡°¡­Ah. Would Unnie feed me?¡± I was aware of the awkwardness of our interaction, but my dad was looking at me with satisfaction, so I opened my mouth gently. Apparently, the restaurant was holding a family month celebration. A member of the restaurant staff in a bright uniform approached us to take a photo. ¡°Kid, please get closer to your mom~¡± ¡°Mom?¡± The older sister hugged me on the shoulder and laughed loudly. Dad encircled the older sister¡¯s shoulders with his arms. Click, the flash went off and the picture came out instantly. The restaurant¡¯s staff then handed it to me. I instinctively took it. After that, I returned home late at night. I saw my mother¡¯s shoes in the hallway. ¡°Mom!¡± ¡°¡­¡­Go inside.¡± I hesitated before following my father¡¯s strict orders and entering the room. A scream erupted as soon as the door closed. And I covered my ears with a pillow. ©¤©¤?????©¤©¤ ¡°Madam Cecilia! Madam Cecilia!¡± I had a dream about the old days after a long time. While looking back at those days, I realize it was the only time I felt happy. ¡°Madam Cecilia, are you awake?¡± My mother and father divorced shortly after that. It was because my mother had looked at the only picture I had in my bunny bag. Then my mother presented my father with divorce papers after confirming the evidence of infidelity that she had suspected previously. My dad signed it out without hesitation. Did you think I would catch it? However my mother was shocked by that determination. ¡°Madam Cecilia, please wake up!¡± In due course, I ended up living with my divorced mother. My father remarried with the older sister I met before. And the two seem to have lived happily ever after. Then my mother developed depression. After my parents divorced, my depressed mother told me it was all my fault that her life had turned out this way. ¡°Madam Cecilia!¡± When I heard the sound of someone¡¯s voice interfering with my dream, I opened my heavy eyes. ¡°Look, Madam Cecilia has woken up!¡± Who the hell was Cecilia, and why were they calling her name out loud, but I didn¡¯t say anything to them. ¡°Madam Cecilia!¡± An unfamiliar face suddenly came into my view. She was an elderly woman with a gentle expression on her face. ¡°Excu-¡­..¡± ¡°Yes, Madam Cecilia, please say it!¡± Why did you call me with a strange name? I was puzzled, but I couldn¡¯t lift a finger. ¡°You, go and call the Count. Madam Cecilia has woken up, go!¡± Then someone was running fast. ¡°Madam Cecilia, do you recognize me? It¡¯s me, your nanny!¡± Nanny. It was not like I was in 19th-century modern Europe, and even in the midst of my confusion, I burst out laughing. Anyway, I had to get up early in order to make it to my part-time job on time. I was trying to stretch my elbows and raise my body. ¡°Madam has woken up.¡± With a cold voice, the surrounding place fell silent. ¡°Count.¡± ¡°Count.¡± It felt like someone on either side of me was kneeling. ¡°Cecilia.¡± My head was shrouded in a shadow. With his back bent down, a pretty handsome man was looking down at me. When our eyes met, he chuckled his tongue. ¡°You look fine.¡± ¡°Count! Madam Cecilia has been poisoned! It¡¯s a miracle she woke up safely! ¡°It¡¯s not the first time this woman has consumed poison but are you still fooled?¡± ¡°I would have been grateful if she had died quietly. There is no room for a quiet place in the house because of all the fuss she made.¡± ¡°Count!¡± ¡°Alright. You¡¯ve been begging me to come here, but the nanny should go back.¡± The man who had finished speaking abruptly left the place. A woman recognized as a nanny sobbed as she looked behind the man who was leaving. I had no idea what all the fuss was about until I fell asleep. Then I woke up at the crack of dawn and I had a strange dream that I couldn¡¯t recall. For a brief moment, I tried to remember what I had been dreaming about, then shook my head. I was afraid about the part-time job that I missed without permission. I fumbled for the cell phone next to the bed, thinking I should send a text message to the team leader. ¡°Huh?¡± In the palm of my hand, I could feel the smoothness of the bed sheet. It was a different level of smoothness from my blanket, which had been washed several times and was full of scratches and tears. ¡°What is this, no, where am I?¡± I jumped out of the bed and a soft carpet was revealed beneath my bare feet. When I first time saw such a place in my life, I looked around the place blankly. ¡°Let¡¯s find my phone first.¡± My part-time job required me to complete difficult tasks. All I had to do was receive the documents and type them into the computer, and the pay was decent compared to the intensity of labor. Then I looked around, searching for my phone. ¡°Have I been kidnapped by a psychopath?¡± Every corner in the room had antique furniture. It looked like the furniture of a European nobleman in the 19th century. ¡°This is not a kidnapping.¡± Kidnapping me brings them no benefit as a criminal. I was an orphan with no parents to demand a ransom, and I was a poor person who can¡¯t even afford to pay my rent on time. ¡°Did they help me when I collapsed on the street?¡± This is a much more plausible hypothesis. With the help of a person with an unusual taste in interior design, I came close to disrespecting the benefactor. I need to find my phone, meet the owner and say thank you. Then find the nearest bus stop and go home. My heart, which had been pounding due to anxiety before, regained some stability after the situation was cleared up. ¡°The dressing table is big.¡± I looked through every drawer but couldn¡¯t find my phone. I had to restrain myself from touching someone¡¯s personal items on the dressing table, but now I can¡¯t help myself. I will apologize later, and I came closer to the dressing table. ¡°¡­¡­Huh?¡± An unfamiliar face in the vanity mirror is impersonating my actions. ¡°Is it still a dream?¡± I pinched my thigh hard. Ouch, it hurts. It didn¡¯t seem that I was dreaming. The curvy blonde haired woman looked at me with wide eyes. ¡°I think this is a dream.¡± Even though I pinched my thighs until it hurts, it¡¯s possible that I¡¯m still dreaming. Just because I¡¯m dreaming doesn¡¯t mean I am not experiencing pain. I attempted to make myself calm, but the reality in front of me remained unchanged. My phone was no longer the problem. So the idea of ??getting out of here became pressing. I left the room reluctantly after opening the door. ¡°Madam Cecilia?¡± As soon as I opened the door, I met a woman in a white apron. She said, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you stay in your bed? The doctor said you still need more rest.¡± Again, she called me Cecilia. ¡°Ce-Cecilia¡­¡­¡± ¡°Madam Cecilia. Please go inside instead of doing this. Count will be upset if he finds this out.¡± Who is the Count? Is he the owner of this house, which is obsessed with not only the interior but also the theater of situations? ¡°Madam Cecilia, please. The count will be here soon, and he won¡¯t like it when he finds that Madam Cecilia has left the room.¡± The woman hurriedly tried to push me into the room. I strengthened my feet to avoid being pushed. ¡°Wait, get out of my way. Thank you for the help, but I must return home now. I¡¯ll pay this back later.¡± ¡°Home? Oh, you mean your parents¡¯ house?¡± This makes no sense. I haven¡¯t even married yet, but who is my relative¡¯s family? ¡°It¡¯s my home. I have a part-time job in the morning, so I have to leave early.¡± ¡°Madam Cecilia.¡± The woman sighed deeply. ¡°By the way, Lady Cecilia is Countess Linton. Dead or alive, this is Madam Cecilia¡¯s house.¡± The woman kept saying strange things the whole time. I pretended to obey the woman, then suddenly turned around and ran. ¡°Agh, Madam Cecilia.¡± As I jumped down two stairwells at once, I saw a large door. I turned around thinking that was the front door. ¡°Madam Cecilia, please no!¡± ¡°Ugh!¡± I was surprised to hear a woman¡¯s voice coming from behind as I turned my head, then I bumped into someone. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± It¡¯s him. It was only a few seconds, but his tone was cold to the bone and remained vivid in my memory. ¡°Count!¡± The woman who had been following me immediately knelt down. ¡°Are you about to do something crazy?¡± I was caught by this man. The door was only a few steps away, but I couldn¡¯t barely move because he¡¯s clutching my arm so tightly. ¡°Let me go.¡± Scratching his head, the man was irritated. ¡°Whether you die or go insane, Cecilia, do at least one thing right.¡± I was led back to the room where I was desperately ruined by this man. Chapter 2 ¡°I warn you, whatever you do, do it quietly. If you want to go insane, go ahead, and if you want to die, die quietly.¡± I was hurled into the room. When I lost my balance and collapsed on the floor, the man who looked at me with contempt then slammed the door. ¡°¡­¡­What the hell?¡± I was dumbfounded. ¡°What the hell!¡± I vented my late anger in the air. ¡°Let me go! Open the door! Open it!¡± I knocked on the door with all my might. There was no sign of a person outside, as if the man had ordered them to leave me alone. I couldn¡¯t get the doorknob to move no matter how hard I turned it. Then I became exhausted by myself and eventually gave up. I didn¡¯t get it. I paused for a moment, staring blankly into space, before returning to the mirror. In the mirror, the blonde woman I saw before is standing in a mess. When I raised my hand, hers rose as well. I tucked my messy hair behind my ears, and the girl did the same. ¡°Ha¡­¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t believe it, but I had no choice but to accept that this wasn¡¯t a dream and that woman was me. It was just that I didn¡¯t understand the situation, and I shouldn¡¯t have been so caught up in it. First, I must grasp the situation. ¡°What¡¯s the last thing I remember?¡± It has long been my habit to ask and answer questions on my own. Even if the obstacle is insurmountable, then if I look for the root cause, I will find a way out. ¡°I was at home, and I remember going home after work.¡± And what else did I do? Probably skipped meals and dozed off. That¡¯s how my days have gone these days. It was because I was having depressive thoughts during a short break. Furthermore, the last night I recall was my mother¡¯s death anniversary. ¡°Mom¡­¡­¡± I shook my head to get her face out of my mind. Am I dead? But I have only seen it in dramas and novels. This is similar to when the souls of the dead are swapped for one another on the same day and at the same time by a wonderful coincidence. A woman named Cecilia was said to have consumed poison several times before. Did this woman wake up from my body as well? If that¡¯s the case, I¡¯m sorry. Cecilia¡¯s death must have been caused by the poison, but mine was most likely caused by overwork. At the very least, this woman has a nanny who looks after her and lives in a decent home. Cecilia, who wakes up from my body, has to live in a moldy little room and a life where no one hears her screams. ¡°I¡¯d rather go to heaven.¡± With a short recitation, I soothed my heart that I accidentally lived in her body without her consent. ¡°If this is my new life, I have to get used to it.¡± The pluses and minuses of those who have suffered too much misfortune are that they can quickly adapt to any unrealistic situation. After giving up on the mirror, I tried to search the dressing table once more. The drawer was brimming with dazzling ornaments. I tossed them aside and moved my hands around, hoping to find something that would explain Cecilia¡¯s situation. ¡°Ouch!¡± My fingers were sliced by a sharp piece of paper. The main cause was discovered to be a thick notebook. ¡°A diary, that¡¯s it.¡± I heard that someone in a big mansion had a cluttered dressing table, but the purpose was to cover up something with jewelry on it. Then I opened the first page of the diary. ¡°Imperial calendar xxxx, x month x day¡­¡­ ¡± Even though I was confused by the unfamiliar date notation, I felt like I had already fallen into the story contained in the diary for a brief moment. At the age of sixteen, Cecilia married the Count of Linton. It was a marriage arranged by her parents. [¡­¡­Edgar has another woman.] My eyes stopped at one verse and I couldn¡¯t easily move on to the next sentence. It was a passage that could have explained Cecilia¡¯s desire to take her life. Love is nothing more than an emotion. If happiness, joy, sadness, and depression could pass by, only love can destroy people. Feeling happy with love, joyful with love, sad with love, and depressed with love. Even if you only go through one at a time, love comes in the form of a combination of all of the above, and it stays even when you no longer want it to. Even though the previous sentence still hit me hard, I moved on to the next sentence. [He said that that woman was a theater actress. Edgar meets her every day. What kind of expression does he have when he meets that woman? Will he laugh in front of the woman he truly loves when he was only angry with me? ¡­¡­¡­] ¡°You must have laughed, Cecilia.¡± I answered even though I knew the other person wouldn¡¯t hear me. I know this because I¡¯ve seen my father do it in the past. The diary was fairly thick and contained nothing but Edgar. Edgar made Cecilia cry, frustrated, and despair. The days without a fight were occasionally filled with hope, but such days were rare. [I don¡¯t want to love him anymore. It hurts so much. If that¡¯s what love is, now let me stop.] The diary ended in the middle. Probably because Cecilia drank poison again, and this time she didn¡¯t fail. I closed the diary and got up. A woman witth pale face stood in front of the mirror. I still had an unfamiliar face and couldn¡¯t be thought of as myself, but¡­.. ¡°Now I¡¯m Cecilia.¡± I slowly repeated the same words. Then, gradually, Cecilia¡¯s emotions began to seep into me. A woman who was similar to my mother. I didn¡¯t consider Cecilia to be my mother¡¯s replacement. But I didn¡¯t want her to end up like my mother. Now, because I¡¯m Cecilia. I was certain that I would not succumb to the allure of love. ¡°Cecilia.¡± I spoke to the mirror. ¡°Your wish has come true. You are no longer in love with Count Edgar Linton.¡± Even my parents did not love me when I was a child. My mother blamed me until the day she died. If it hadn¡¯t been for me, my mom wouldn¡¯t have married my dad, would not have discovered her husband¡¯s affair by searching for poorly kept photos of her stupid child, and would not have divorced and lived a horrible life. My mother was right. I was like a cursed doll who brought misery to others. My heart had hardened like a stone a long time ago. It happened on its own after I accepted the fact that no one would love me. ¡°There will be no more love tears in the future.¡± The woman in the mirror gave a small smile. ©¤©¤?????©¤©¤ The sun rose ahead of the clouds. The room was just as messy as I was yesterday. I slept soundly because I didn¡¯t have a part-time job to go to and no phone alarm to wake me up in the morning. I hesitated to get out of bed until I heard a knock. ¡°Madam Cecilia, are you awake?¡± I had not yet gotten used to hearing the strange name, but I had realized that it was my name. ¡°Yes. Come in.¡± Cecilia¡¯s diary gave me a rough understanding of how I should act. Cecilia is the eldest daughter of the Count of Rosette. I had to gather my limited cultural knowledge in order to recognize the class society of the Empire and the Count. ¡°You have a good complexion today.¡± The woman who came in meticulously looked at my face. Her suspicions that I had attempted suicide again grew stronger throughout the night. ¡°Countess Rosette has invited you to tea in the afternoon.¡± The woman said as she held out a silver bowl filled with water. Countess Rosette. She was one of the few people who appeared in Cecilia¡¯s diary. She was Count Rossette¡¯s concubine and became Countess after Cecilia¡¯s biological mother died. She didn¡¯t seem to be a vicious stepmother, as is a widespread misconception. It was written that the Countess Rosette came to comfort Cecilia after she made several poor decisions out of desperation. ¡°What about the nanny?¡± As she finished washing my face, I was suddenly reminded of a woman who was sobbing bitterly. Cecilia was in a better position than I was. There are many good people in her life, but she eventually chose to end her life on her own. It was not worth it to do so out of love. ¡°The Count sent her back.¡± ¡°I see.¡± ¡°Madam Cecilia probably didn¡¯t realize, but yesterday wasn¡¯t exactly a chaos.¡± The woman had a big mouth. I didn¡¯t even ask, and she told me everything that happened during my fainting, down to the last detail. ¡°Please tell the Count that you made a mistake, Madam Cecilia.¡± ¡°What?¡± The woman kicked her tongue and said something as if I were a child when I asked why because I didn¡¯t understand what she was saying. ¡°There is no man in the world who lives only with his wife. Whether you like it or not, Cecilia is the hostess of Count Linton. He¡¯s a good husband, even though the Count often goes to the theater, isn¡¯t he?¡± Ah. It was similar here. Even when I was in my original body, I heard things like this. When my mother revealed that she wanted to divorce, my aunt came and talked to her about persuading my mother not to divorce, followed by maternal aunt, maternal grandmother, and finally paternal grandmother. My mother later expressed regret for not listening to them after the divorce. Actually, my mom didn¡¯t really want to get divorced. If she went strong, she seemed to expect my father to be surprised. ¡°The count is a man of honor, but he probably won¡¯t meet a theater actress formally, and Madam Cecilia¡¯s position is strong.¡± This woman was most likely speaking because she is concerned about Cecilia. ¡°Yes, I know.¡± I nodded, wiping my face with the towel offered by the woman. ¡°Pardon?¡± The woman was taken aback by my response. ¡°I felt like a fool. I¡¯ve come to my senses now, so don¡¯t worry.¡± Cecilia won¡¯t love him anymore. ¡°Really?¡± The woman¡¯s round eyes suddenly filled with tears. I became frantic and reached for a towel that had previously been used to wipe my face. ¡°Do you cry over this?¡± ¡°Of course! Do you know what they say outside? The Count married the wrong woman and claimed that Count Linton never had a quiet day!¡± She spat out her anger, but I didn¡¯t understand. Wasn¡¯t it because of Edgar, who meets a theater actress every day after we get married? ¡°As Madam Cecilia mentioned, the Count isn¡¯t coming to the house anymore, and the fox believes her position is so strong that she goes around as if she¡¯s the Countess, and I was upset when I saw her.¡± ¡°All right, I get it. Do not cry. Because that won¡¯t happen anymore.¡± The woman sniffed and smiled several times. ¡°Madam Cecilia, no, the Countess has made up her mind, so I¡¯m not worried either.¡± The woman took notice of me after she finished speaking. ¡°Are you alright?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Even if I called you Countess before, you didn¡¯t seem to be comfortable with that title¡­¡­¡± According to the woman, Cecilia was hysterical about being addressed as Countess when she was not even treated as the Count¡¯s wife. ¡°Countess?¡± When I didn¡¯t answer because I was thinking for a while, she called me again with the same title, as if to confirm it. I smiled and raised the corners of my mouth, hoping she was relieved. Chapter 3 ¡°It¡¯s okay. I am alright. However, there is one small problem.¡± The woman¡¯s eyes lit up brightly, as if to say, ¡®Please ask me anything.¡¯ ¡°I drank poison.¡± ¡°Yes, you did. This was already the sixth time. How fortunate he was to be tricked by the bad con. Madam would not be here otherwise.¡± Not her complaints, but mine were quietly refuted. I may have been tricked by the bad con until the fifth time, but it wasn¡¯t the last. Cecilia had to have meticulously planned everything. ¡°Perhaps that explains why some memories are lost.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± She was startled when I put my finger on her lips. The woman quickly quieted down. ¡°Something from your memory, so how much¡­¡± ¡°I recognize myself as Cecilia. I know I married the Count, and know who the Countess Rosette is.¡± They were the only names in the diary. ¡°Aside from that¡­?¡± ¡°Yeah, not at all. I have no idea what your name is.¡± The woman pursed her lips in embarrassment. ¡°Could you please tell me your name?¡± ¡°I¡¯m Sarah. I¡¯ve been taking care of Madam since you arrived at Linton¡¯s mansion.¡± She paused for a moment, as if in embarrassment, and continued to speak cautiously. Her face looked worried. ¡°Sarah. Yesterday I saw someone standing in front of my door, do you know who that woman is?¡± ¡°Oh. It must have been Jane. She¡¯s a new maid since Madam arrived at the mansion, but I¡¯ve heard Jane has worked here for a long time.¡± Sarah said she would tell me everything she knew and sat down, as if her shock had worn off a little. ¡°I don¡¯t know much either. But I¡¯ll tell you everything you need to know to the best of my knowledge.¡± ¡°Yes, thank you.¡± Sarah¡¯s story didn¡¯t come to an end until it was time for tea with Countess Rosette. ¡°Let¡¯s go and do the rest.¡± ¡°Yes!¡± I felt it was awkward for someone else other than me to touch my hair and change my clothes. But, Cecilia looked beautiful in light makeup. ¡°We have a carriage ready for you to enter right now!¡± The doorknob, which had been tightly shut the day before, turned easily this time. With a single sigh, I walked out of my room. ©¤©¤?????©¤©¤ When I arrived with the carriage at the Rosette family¡¯s mansion, what should I say about the mansion? It wasn¡¯t as grand as I had imagined. I would have opened my mouth wide if it had been the original me, but after seeing the Linton mansion, it wasn¡¯t as surprising as I had thought. Count Linton and Count Rosette had the same status, but there seemed to be a noticeable difference between the two families, based on the difference in two mansions. ¡°Cecilia.¡± I noticed a young woman not far away as I followed the guide. By her appearance, she seemed to be the Countess of Rosette. After all, she didn¡¯t seem to be too old to have a daughter the same age as Cecilia. ¡°Countess.¡± Then I bent my knees slightly based on my knowledge of movies that were occasionally broadcast for free on television ¡°You have such a pale complexion.¡± Countess Rosette treated her stepdaughter with kindness. Without even realizing it, the warmth that rushed to my cheek hardened my face. ¡°I heard the news.¡± Countess Rosette grabbed my hand and offered me a seat, pretending not to notice my reaction. ¡°What kind of news?¡± Countess Rosette did not respond right away, but she did request her maid bring the tea. ¡°Last night, your nanny returned to the mansion. That feeble person panicked when you fainted.¡± In this situation, I should have shown that I am concerned about the person referred to as my nanny, but I know nothing about her. Countess Rosette seemed perplexed as she sat silently waiting for the next word. ¡°¡­¡­Are you alright?¡± It was a friendly and warm question. ¡°Yes.¡± My response was monotonous and cold in comparison. ¡°What are you lying on? I shouldn¡¯t have asked.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine, really.¡± I had no sympathy. Even if it comes from genuine benevolence. ¡°I was stupid.¡± I locked my gaze on the stream of water that the maid poured into the teacup. ¡°I don¡¯t think there¡¯s anything more to worry about, Madam.¡± Along with the tea, I swallowed what Edgar said to me last time. ¡°Then I¡¯m relieved¡­¡­¡± However, Countess Rosette was not easily convinced. I already know it. Cecilia drank poison five times. Her nanny had passed on the message, and the Countess of Rosette knew that Cecilia had consumed poison six times. Even if I wasn¡¯t her stepdaughter, hearing that someone you knew had attempted suicide twice in a row would be distressing to anyone. ¡°By the way, you should go see Ayla.¡± ¡°Ayla?¡± ¡°She had heard you were coming and had been anticipating your arrival since yesterday, so she slept late. Don¡¯t blame her for being late for this appointment because she misses her sister.¡± I nodded my head quietly. According to Sarah¡¯s story, Ayla was the biological daughter of Countess Rosette and Cecilia¡¯s half-sister. If Cecilia had entered my original body instead of mine, her side would have suffered far more. I¡¯ve heard I have a step-sister as well, but I¡¯ve never met her. ¡°Count Linton¡­¡­¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t see him today.¡± ¡°Did he go there again?¡± ¡°Perhaps he is.¡± Countess Rosette¡¯s face darkened. ¡°He was a sincere man before you got engaged, but why did he do that¡­¡­¡± My hand that was tilting the teacup stopped for a moment. Even if he was a sincere man, would it be excessive paranoia if I learned that it was my fault for making him tired of running away from me? As she looked at me and spoke for some reason, sweat seeped into my palms. ¡°Although we are not biological mother and daughter, we have a strong bond. Don¡¯t be so upset.¡± ¡°Yeah, I don¡¯t.¡± Countess Rosette was taken aback because she hadn¡¯t expected my demeanor to be so calm. ¡°I told the Count not to force you to marry in this way, but your father insisted on it.¡± Her tone was etched with the words that followed as if she had said them a thousand times before. ¡°The Count was only worried about you, Cecilia, until the moment he closed his eyes.¡± Oh, Count Rosette is not in this world anymore (died). She continued her speech in a forthright tone like a theater actress. ¡°He (Count Rosette) was afraid Count Linton would break his promise, so his last words before he left were congratulations on your wedding in advance.¡± That¡¯s how it went down. The mystery of why Edgar despised Cecilia but made her sit in the Countess¡¯ seat was solved. His fianc¨¦e¡¯s father was dying, and he (Count Rosette) did him (Count Linton) a favor. It had to be to save his face and reputation if he disobeyed his request. Edgar Linton didn¡¯t have a choice. ¡°Even so, Cecilia, I would have supported the breakup if you weren¡¯t sure.¡± The tone of Countess Rosette hinted that Edgar Linton had a romantic relationship with the actress in the theater. ¡°Anyway, if you want to go, you¡¯ll have a good life¡­¡± Countess Rosette wiped her eyes with a handkerchief as her words became ambiguous. ¡°No, I¡¯m sorry. We met for the first time in a long time and talked nonsense.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± An awkward silence passed. Countess Rossett narrowed her eyes as if to gauge my reaction. No, maybe this was also her paranoia. The plight of her stepdaughter must have left Countess Rosette speechless. ¡°Sister Cecilia!¡± Fortunately, the silence did not last long. It was because of the girl who came in with light footsteps. ¡°Ayla.¡± I called out the girl¡¯s name. Ayla, who ran with a bright smile, didn¡¯t seem to have a big age difference with Cecilia. She was only a year or two younger. ¡°I miss you¡± She dashed over to Cecilia¡¯s small back. ¡°Where is Count Linton? Why didn¡¯t he come with you?¡± Ayla looked innocent as she scoured Cecilia¡¯s most painful wound. Was it a coincidence? ¡°Ayla.¡± Countess Rosette softly chuckled. ¡°Do you know Count Linton is not as free as you are?¡± ¡°But both of you are a lovely newlywed.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing you can¡¯t say when you are not even engaged.¡± Although Countess Rosette pretended to be reprimanded, I could not completely hide my innermost thoughts that Ayla was so cute. ¡°So, it¡¯s good to be married, sister?¡± Cecilia wrote in her diary about having a stepmother and a half-brother, which made life difficult for her. But now I realize she was blind. It was good in her eyes how much their kind smiles and innocent questions had dried up Cecilia¡¯s blood. ¡°Yeah, okay.¡± I answered politely. Ayla¡¯s lips, which were twitching like a child, were momentarily distorted. ¡°Is the Count doing well?¡± It was a tone that made me determined not to dig out the truth. ¡°The Count¡­¡­¡± I made a deliberate pause. ¡°He is busy.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right! Yeah! Count Linton is busy. Everybody knows!¡± ¡°That¡¯s what you like about him.¡± The next words made Ayla¡¯s face brighten, then darken. ¡°Just because you¡¯re married doesn¡¯t mean you have to spend all of your time together. I¡¯m more at ease because the Count goes about his business according to his own schedule, whereas I go about my business my own way.¡± Clang, the teacup was placed on the table unnaturally. That belonged to Countess Rosette. ¡°Cecilia, you should have that mindset. Do you have to give up because you¡¯re just married?¡± Countess Rosette¡¯s considerable consolation was quickly replaced by a handkerchief. She covered it up, but I didn¡¯t notice her cheekbones going up suddenly. ¡°Is there a time like that? I¡¯m fine as long as I¡¯m comfortable.¡± I took one last look at the sunset before heading back. ¡°Are you leaving already? Even without having dinner. You like having dinner with your family.¡± That low-pitched word was hidden that I would eat alone and lonely when I returned home. ¡°Yes, sister. Let¡¯s go to dinner together. My mom already prepared for you.¡± Ayla clung to my arm, begging. ¡°Thank you, but now I am Countess Linton. The Linton Mansion is my residence.¡± Countess Rosette looked at me in disbelief. ¡°The Count is often away from home because he is busy, so I have to protect my residence as well. Employees will be in trouble if both masters are absent.¡± I gently pulled Ayla¡¯s arm away from me. ¡°Maybe you don¡¯t know, but the position of the Countess is not easy.¡± I spoke in a soft tone and looked at Countess Rosette. You are Countess like me, but did you know? I glared at her. Countess Rosette smiled forcely. ¡°That¡¯s right. if you¡¯re the mistress of a family, you should be. Cecilia has grown up now. Even when you first married, I was worried, but now I don¡¯t have to be.¡± ¡°I apologize for troubling you. That is something I will never do again.¡± After a formal goodbye, I left the mansion. Chapter 4 Neither Countess Rosette nor Ayla came out to see me off. I was debating whether or not to call the nanny, but if I said something unnecessary, it seemed like I¡¯d end up telling behind-the-scenes jokes that were performed yesterday. I had hoped to meet someone who would have cared for Cecilia, but all I could think about as I was about to board the carriage was hiding my disappointment. ¡°Lady Cecilia.¡± A low voice called me. ¡°Did you only bring one maid?¡± When I turned around, I noticed a tall man standing nearby. He was a man who frequently did outdoor activities and flaunted his healthy and charming tan skin. ¡°Yes.¡± I had no idea who the other person was. ¡°Does Count Linton not provide his wife with a escort?¡± Then I saw the carriage in which I rode. It was a large, sturdy carriage. Furthermore, I only went to my parents¡¯ house, which is about 30 minutes away at most. ¡°I didn¡¯t consider that.¡± ¡°Lady Cecilia, you are defenseless for your own safety.¡± The man seemed to know Cecilia well. ¡°Your mother will be worried.¡± If Cecilia were anyone¡¯s concern¡­ A sad image of a middle-aged woman came to mind. ¡°Oh, how about the nanny?¡± I think the answer I took was right. ¡°Her eyes are sore, but other than that, she is fine.¡± ¡°Please take care of me.¡± I wanted to provide a qualified assortment of things like this, but instead I got into the carriage and abruptly turned around. ¡°I¡¯m going to call the nanny soon.¡± The man gave me a puzzled look. It was odd that Edgar Linton would call back the nanny he had sent back. ¡°The Count is busy, so he probably won¡¯t notice even if there are a couple more members of the soldiers in the house.¡± This alone could not satisfy his curiosity, but I abruptly got into the carriage and closed the door. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Sarah knocked on the carriage¡¯s roof, and it departed after a short while. I noticed the man was still there, but I didn¡¯t look back. Sympathy, I hated it. The mansion of Linton was deafeningly quiet. Nobody saw me even when I arrived. ¡°Shall we bring dinner to the room as usual?¡± Sarah asked. I tried to say yes but then shook my head. ¡°No, I¡¯m going to have dinner in the dining room.¡± ¡°¡­The Count won¡¯t be here until dawn.¡± Sarah said cautiously. ¡°I¡¯m having trouble remembering, but can¡¯t the Countess use the dining room without her husband?¡± ¡°No! Absolutely not!¡± Sarah, who was visibly dirty, disappeared with a quick step, saying she would inform the kitchen. ¡°Hey there, you.¡± I called a maid who was cleaning the window sill. ¡°Yes, Lady Cecilia.¡± The maid responded to me with an attitude that was neither polite nor respectful to the hostess of this mansion. ¡°Find a maid and send her to my room to change my dress.¡± She gave a startled blink. ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°I have to change my dress, so pick a maid who doesn¡¯t have rough hands and bring her to my room.¡± For the first time giving orders, I continued to speak with a firm tone. I wasn¡¯t used to living in a class society, but I had no choice but to adapt if this was the reality. It was difficult for Sarah to take off my dress. It was better to play the eldest daughter of Count Rosette, who was boastful but arrogant, rather than to be caught whimpering in the room and wrestling with clothes. ¡°Oh right.¡± I told the woman who was on her way to find a maid with gentle hands. ¡°Your job will be put at risk if you call me Lady Cecilia again.¡± The woman came to a halt and bowed politely. ¡°Yes, Countess.¡± I entered the room with a sense of satisfaction. Cecilia¡¯s life was not bad in comparison to my previous life. I would prefer a very comfortable life if I did not cling to her husband¡¯s love. I looked in the mirror and hummed a little. Cecilia smiled, looking more relaxed than when she first saw her. The sun began to set soon. Cecilia¡¯s, no, my husband came home early in the evening for some reason. It was after I had changed my dress and sat down to eat in the dining room. Cecilia¡¯s life was much richer than my original life, but much of it was being financed by workforces. As the night fell, servants dressed in the same uniform placed candles throughout the house. The table was stunning, but I couldn¡¯t see what it was because it was so dark. Based on my intuitions, I moved the food that looked moderately delicious to my plate. And when Edgar walked into the dining room, he didn¡¯t immediately recognize me. ¡°Have you changed the way you protest?¡± It wasn¡¯t until I heard the voice that I realized who was sitting across from me. ¡°I would have told you to do whatever you do quietly.¡± I kept putting food in my mouth. ¡°I just asked you to stay out of sight.¡± Even though the mansion was massive, it couldn¡¯t help but draw attention as long as we lived in the same house. Unless either side is determined to hide. Cecilia must have played hide-and-seek hard. ¡°¡­ Countess, would you like a dessert?¡± The maid, who had been observing the atmosphere for a moment, asked in a cautious voice. The question was whether he had heard what she said to the woman cleaning the windows or she had spelled her name correctly. She furrowed Edgar¡¯s eyebrows. ¡°Countess? I nodded as I watched his lips twist at an angle. ¡°Yes.¡± The maid gave her a terrified look before hearing her response and stepping back to leave the dining room. ¡°Countess.¡± Edgar said it again, sarcastically. ¡°Dear Madam. Your insanity is worsening by the day. Now you¡¯re going to pretend to be a countess in order to push a good man out of the way?¡± I wiped my bare lips once more with a napkin. Cecilia was terrified of him. It was because she loved him. Love pushes the other to the limit and empowers you to punish yourself with your own hands. But I had no reason to fear Edgar. ¡°I have accepted reality.¡± ¡°Reality?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve made the decision that it doesn¡¯t matter who you play with.¡± I took Edgar¡¯s tone and smile and imitated them on my face. ¡°Dear Count. There is nothing to worry about.¡± Edgar was taken aback. ¡°We were formed at my father¡¯s request. It wasn¡¯t just a request; it was a will.¡± ¡°My father¡¯s will was our marriage, he didn¡¯t ask you to cherish and love me for the rest of your life.¡± But Cecilia¡¯s father would have wanted it. No, did I want it? I didn¡¯t know. I understand that not all fathers are like my biological father, but my short experience made it difficult for me to believe in the father¡¯s affection in any kind family. Cecilia¡¯s father, too, remarried. Cecilia had to put up with her stepmother and half-sister not being affectionate and hurting her without realizing it. ¡°I was stupid, Edgar.¡± I laughed softly. ¡°I have no right to interfere as long as the framework of marriage is maintained.¡± Edgar had a puzzled expression on his face, as if he couldn¡¯t believe my sudden change. ¡°I won¡¯t ask you to believe me right now.¡± Just in time, the maid brought strawberries and whipped cream for dessert. I dipped a lot of whipped cream into the luscious fruit and took it to my mouth. I closed my eyes and focused on the sweetness of the fresh cream on its body. ¡°All right.¡± While I ate three fruits, Edgar remained silent and concluded: ¡°I¡¯ll trust you.¡± His index finger points to me. ¡°If you lied again, my father-in-law¡¯s last will no longer be of any use.¡± On the outside, Edgar is portrayed as the poor Count of Linton, living with his insane wife and unable to break his promise to his late father-in-law. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was true, but Sarah, the only person who can give me information right now, said it was. Even if I start another protest and Edgar throws me away because he can¡¯t take it anymore, he deserves a sympathy vote. So he¡¯ll be irritated by my words about not interfering with him any longer. I got up after eating the last strawberry. I¡¯ve never had a meal that was as satisfying as this one. My memories are muddled because it has been so long since I tasted delicious food. My mother prepared meals every day, but I never ate properly. It was my fault that my mother gained weight due to stress and medication side effects. ¡°Don¡¯t think about it.¡± I shook my head and gave myself a familiar rebuke. All my bad memories were buried deep inside. Only then would she be able to live like her mother without sacrificing her own life. ¡°Sarah.¡± ¡°Yes, Countess.¡± ¡°Take the nanny and her family from Rossette¡¯s mansion tomorrow.¡± Sarah carefully raised the question. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t I first ask permission from the Count?¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Edgar wouldn¡¯t care. I know a man like him well. Every time Dad came home, he was angry because someone wouldn¡¯t let him do what he wanted. It¡¯s common sense that a man with a family must sacrifice some freedom, but Dad didn¡¯t know that simple fact. Maybe he pretended not to know. ¡°I¡¯ll tell him tomorrow if you¡¯re worried.¡± Sarah was more relieved by my confirmation. ¡°But why are you suddenly calling her?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no maid I can trust in this house.¡± I¡¯m not sure how old this place is, but the maid seemed to be quite useful based on what I¡¯ve seen over the last two days. ¡°That isn¡¯t to say I don¡¯t believe you.¡± ¡°Yes. I know.¡± Sarah¡¯s face distorted for a second before she quickly raised the corners of her lips. ¡°I need to get some rest. I want to be alone.¡± ¡°Yes, please call me if you have any problems.¡± I sat in front of the dressing table after sending Sarah out. Chapter 5 I opened Cecilia¡¯s diary. While looking for a blank piece of paper, I flipped through the pages of letters. ¨C Countess Cecilia Linton. On the back of the Countess Linton, I wrote my name and drew a straight line. ¨C Cecilia. ¡°Cecilia.¡± I shouldn¡¯t naively believe that Edgar will keep his promise. ¡°Your wish has come true.¡± No matter how much I hold my breath and live quietly, if one day she finds the love she wants to dedicate her entire life to, that¡¯s the end of it. ¡°So, I have no debt.¡± We both had to accumulate wealth in different way. And I must save your fortune in order for you to be able to live without him. Mom was kicked out without receiving a penny from Dad. The guilty spouse was the father, but the law was lax. Even if he was sentenced to pay alimony and child support, it was only if my father didn¡¯t obey it. Is there a concept of alimony here? I¡¯ll ask the nanny when she comes. I had to bring in the nanny in order to ask these sensitive questions comfortably. Sarah said that Cecilia had been with her since she came to Linton¡¯s mansion. According to Cecilia¡¯s diary, she had been married for less than two years. That was how Sarah became Cecilia¡¯s maid. Even so, Cecilia would not have received much attention because she refused to hold the position of Countess. The nanny was a little more dependable than Sarah, with whom she had recently spent some time. At the very least, she was heartbroken when Cecilia fainted. ¡°I¡¯ll also give her a job.¡± No matter how much she loves Ceclia, I can¡¯t let her nanny value me more than her own child, so I need a leash to keep her under control. I was skeptical about my twisted side self, who couldn¡¯t trust others upright. If I was really Cecilia, she wouldn¡¯t have thought of using the nanny she raised. I was the one who made Cecilia¡¯s wish come true and lost all the affection she originally had. ¡°I don¡¯t love Edgar, but I¡¯ve lost everyone¡¯s affection.¡± Cecilia has me in her body. Even if I were Cecilia on the outside, I don¡¯t think my principle would have changed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about that¡± Love is a fleeting feeling that will fade away eventually. But there was no such thing as someone who loved me at that time. I was a burden to my father and a traitor to my mother. There was occasionally a compelling reason, but when they discovered my pessimism they ran away. ¡°It¡¯s fine once I get used to it.¡± That was my habit, so it¡¯s fine. It was alright. It was better not to receive it from the start if it was only a fleeting feeling. My mother, who had lost her love, couldn¡¯t take it any longer. ¡°Really, It¡¯s really fine.¡± In the mirror, I repeatedly made excuses to Cecilia. Even knowing that Cecilia is no longer here. *** The curtains were wide open, and sunlight streamed in through the large window. Then I buried my face in the pillow and slept for another 30 minutes after lazing around. I could hear the sound of a carriage wheel rolling on the stone floor. It reminded me that I had called my nanny and her son to come. My face, which was still drowsy, gradually began to awaken. Then I got up slowly and called Sarah. I changed my clothes and washed my face with the water in the silver basin. ¡°How about my nanny?¡± ¡°She is currently with the maid. Do you want me to inform her that the Countess has requested to see the nanny?¡± ¡°No. Let¡¯s start with breakfast.¡± I walked into the dining room, where Edgar and I had shared a dinner the day before. ¡°Good morning.¡± I greeted him calmly and sat down in a chair. Edgar frowned as he read the newspaper, as if pretending I was not here. ¡°Are we close enough to sit down and eat together?¡± ¡°Eating in the room is uncomfortable.¡± I continued, naturally looking into Edgar¡¯s eyes. ¡°After breakfast, I¡¯d like to take a stroll through the garden.¡± Yesterday, I decided to change Cecilia¡¯s image, as I had planned before going to bed. I decided to raise Cecilia¡¯s reputation slowly. Also gradually build up Cecilia¡¯s reputation in case Edgar blindly fell in love and threw me away. Edgar looked at me as if he had lost his appetite. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°I told you, I¡¯ll settle for the position of Countess.¡± I scooped out a full spoonful of chickpeas and put them in my mouth. The boiled chickpeas melted and went without the need to chew them. ¡°I¡¯m not going to be a wife for the rest of my life; I¡¯m going to spend it gardening, making friends, and doing what the Countess can do.¡± At my words, Edgar gave me a suspicious look. ¡°Is there anything else the Countess can do for fun?¡± Edgar reopened the newspaper, his eyes narrowed as if he were looking at me for a brief moment at my words. ¡°Come to think of it, we haven¡¯t had a dinner party at Linton¡¯s mansion in a long time.¡± ¡°A dinner party?¡± ¡°If you¡¯re a hostess, your family¡¯s reputation is important to you, but you! No, the Countess isn¡¯t doing anything, and I¡¯m wasting my time trying to hold on to it.¡± I chewed and swallowed the well-roasted carrot, shaking off Edgar¡¯s sharply forged accusation. ¡°Yes. I will prepare.¡± Edgar said with his eyes fixed on the newspaper. ¡°I¡¯d be disappointed if there wasn¡¯t a musician at the dinner party. I¡¯m glad there¡¯s a singer I know. Isn¡¯t that right, Madam?¡± He seemed to be referring to the theater actress with whom he was having an affair with. I noticed Edgar was completely focused on me, and he just pretended to be reading the newspaper. ¡°That¡¯s a good idea.¡± I replied by putting his second carrot in my mouth. Edgar grinned contentedly and pretended to toast me. Poor Cecilia. While raising my glass to please him, I pondered. She was in love with a man who didn¡¯t appreciate her kindness. Cecilia¡¯s face, which had lost its expression, swallowed the wine. I made the decision to tell the nanny that I had lost some of my memories. I decided to tell them sooner rather than later because she knows a lot more about Cecilia than Sarah does. The nanny wept as she lamented Cecilia¡¯s pitiful situation. She said, ¡°My poor girl. Losing your mother as soon as you were born, and being beaten by your vicious stepmother, I thought that they barely made a real family for her, and even the sky doesn¡¯t care¡­¡­¡± ¡°Heaven is always indifferent.¡± I mumbled awkwardly, unsure how to console her as she sobbed. The wind made the nanny¡¯s cry even stronger. ¡°Maybe it went well because I lost my memory. Look, nanny, I¡¯m perfectly fine. I believe Count Linton and I will get along pretty smoothly.¡± My clumsy comfort was not enough to calm the nanny¡¯s storm. After a while, the nanny calmed down. ¡°Are you feeling well?¡± ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve never been this good before.¡± It was true. Because my original body was a shambles. Cecilia was in better health than I was at the time of stress-induced vomiting and hair loss. For she drank poison, she didn¡¯t seem to need any treatment. Perhaps it was the result of another soul entering an already-dead body. I finally pulled out the business as I watched the nanny wipe away her tears. ¡°I got a chance to regain my trust from Edgar. I¡¯m throwing a dinner party.¡± ¡°A dinner party?¡± ¡°Yes. I was only a Countess in name, because I¡¯d done nothing in the past. They will not recognize me as Edgar¡¯s wife at my first supper, but he will regard me as a worthy hostess to the Countess. I¡¯m going to work on improving my image in public.¡± The only stumbling block was that I had no idea what a dinner party was. People who, according to my limited cultural knowledge, live in a world where people wear dresses and bow down loudly to greet each other. ¡°The nanny is responsible for helping me.¡± ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll help you. My son will be able to make use of it as well. He hasn¡¯t learned anything, but he understands the concept of morality. When you arrived, he stated that he couldn¡¯t see any guards, and you became enraged.¡± The nanny insinuated her son to be my escort. ¡°That escort¡­.¡± ¡°No way!¡± Sarah, who was serving refreshments, burst out loud. ¡°How can you use an escort for the Countess who hasn¡¯t even been knighted!¡± Sarah, who had placed the tray on the table, huffed and put her hand on her waist. ¡°It would be an insult to Count Linton¡¯s honor!¡± ¡°How much does a young person know?¡± With her eyes wide open, the nanny raised her voice. ¡°We need someone we can trust by her side now! Open your eyes and take a look around! Is there anyone in this house who genuinely cares about her safety?¡± ¡°Still, the escort from commoner is ridiculous!¡± Both Nanny¡¯s words and Sarah¡¯s words made sense. It was true that I had no one in whom I could put my trust. However, it¡¯s possible that bringing in commoners as escorts harmed Count Edgar Linton¡¯s honor, as Sarah said. ¡°I¡¯ll think about the escort later.¡± They exchanged disappointed nods. I took another look at Sarah. I had a sneaking suspicion she wasn¡¯t truly loyal to me. ¡°The important thing is the dinner.¡± ¡°First, we need to decorate the house.¡± The nanny took an active role in this situation. ¡°This mansion is old-fashioned, and it doesn¡¯t reflect the lady¡¯s tastes. You know, the mansion is like the face of the hostess, and only then will the guests know that the hostess is not the lady, but the former Countess of Linton.¡± Sara exclaimed joyfully as she dictated my nanny¡¯s words. ¡°Finally, I¡¯ve figured out what you like!¡± ¡°Lady?¡± ¡°Oh, is that uncomfortable?¡± When she questioned her unfamiliar name, Sarah blushed. ¡°Of course, people with lower class like us should refer to her as Madam, but Madam is very tough¡­¡­.¡± So, it seemed that there was another class that could be called Countess, not Madam. ¡°No. I didn¡¯t know, I forgot. Will you pay attention to the other maids?¡± ¡°Sure!¡± Sarah¡¯s joy could be seen on her face. I realized why as she went on. ¡°Who dares to refute my words, the maid of honor!¡± The task of delivering the hostess¡¯s order to others seemed to be a privilege that only a close maid could have. To put it another way, Sarah received her super-quick promotion. ¡°Shall we change everything from Madam¡¯s room? It¡¯s far too bleak here. I¡¯m not sure if it¡¯s for older people, but a young person like Madam should brighten it up a little.¡± Sarah spoke in a frantic tone. I looked around the room as she spoke. It was a little dark, but gloomy? I honestly don¡¯t know. I had no taste in decorating. I used to believe that such a life was only possible for those who lived a leisurely life. Chapter 6 ¡°Lady, my son is young and inexperienced. Even though you are a young woman like him, you have greater authority since you are a countess.¡± The nanny shook her head and kicked her tongue. ¡°You know my taste best.¡± I thought about it and decided to give it to the nanny. I decided it would be better if the nanny took charge because I didn¡¯t know what Cecilia¡¯s preferences were and I didn¡¯t have any myself. ¡°Your nanny will take care of it.¡± ¡°Is that so, then?¡± While Sarah scowled, the nanny¡¯s expression brightened. ¡°But we need to get a new dress.¡± In an apparent attempt to avoid losing, Sarah immediately moved on to the next topic. ¡°Not only for formal dress, but also for everyday dress. Although that devil has a reputation for being thrifty, you still need to protect your honor.¡± In response to Sarah¡¯s words, I looked down at the dress I was wearing. The waistband of the dress, which was pale pink and sleek, appeared to be fairly pricey. It would most likely be too pricey given the price of the belt alone. But I had to concur with Sarah¡¯s statements in order to preserve my reputation as the countess. ¡°Right. You are in charge of the dresses.¡± ¡°Yes!¡± Sarah¡¯s expression brightened, and the nanny¡¯s lips jutted out in displeasure. ¡°The dress shouldn¡¯t be overly ostentatious. The Lady has always loved warm colors, therefore staying away from wearing lace and colder colours constantly. The Lady¡¯s reputation will be shattered if it is discovered that the newlywed countess is lavish.¡± How the nanny nags made me laugh. Can Cecilia become honorable? Edgar claimed that Cecilia could hardly hold her head up during the suicide riots she staged because she was envious of her husband¡¯s lover. He didn¡¯t pay attention to me despite the fact that there was a positive reason for that. I heard two persons bickering quietly. These two seem to care a great deal about Cecilia, yet their hearts may not be as pure as they seem. As soon as I told the nanny that I had lost my memory, she persuaded me to use her son, a commoner, as my escort. Even if she insisted that she had reared Cecilia since she was a young child, I would still contend that her son is more important than my reputation. Sara was the maid who arrived at Linton¡¯s mansion after Cecilia, so there was no starting point in this mansion. As soon as they were assigned to a countess who was not even welcomed by her husband, it became clear how things would turn out. Therefore Cecilia coming to her senses and taking over as hostess would be good for Sarah. ¡°How long will it take? Plan something out and let me know when you¡¯re done.¡± They both instantly responded by pushing one another out of the room. Meanwhile, I decided to go on a garden tour. Thoughts of the past came to mind as I sat leisurely in the garden. There used to be a garden at my house. It resembled a yard more than a garden, and my mother had created a flower bed in a corner and allowed flowers to bloom throughout the year. The flowers bloomed beautifully, but my dad groused that the scent made his nose itch and caused him a headache. My mother dug up the flower bed and replaced it with grass for my father, but he became enraged when the lawn began to infest the house with insects. After that, the garden was abandoned, and my father looked at it and scolded me for leaving the house in such a forlorn state. Looking at the well-maintained garden, it reminded me of a flower-filled garden I used to have as a kid. The Count¡¯s garden was huge. The stone-paved walkway has been lined with tall trees. The heel of my shoe hit the stone floor, making walking uncomfortable, but the trees kept me calm. ¡°I don¡¯t know how everyone walks in these.¡± I took off my shoes and held them in my hands. My feet became more comfortable, so I was thinking about strolling all the way to the end to see how far the garden could stretch. The tree was thick with branches, and the weeds reached knee-high. I remembered the words of the nanny, who said that a house is the face of the hostess. Edgar left the garden to me alone when I questioned whether he shared my opinion. No matter how messy the house is, the hostess should be ashamed of it. So, what does that man¡¯s expression outside look like? I was suddenly curious. Edgar meets the actress in the theater. It indicates that having a second mistress and getting married are not conscious decisions that harm another person¡¯s honour. ¡°The expression on that man¡¯s face outside must depend on whether the hostess is dead or dumb.¡± I flinched, but there was someone who was talking. ¡°Evaluation of not being able to rule the house is what men fear the most.¡± I was startled when I heard a retort from the grass. ¡°Who is it?¡± I cautiously asked. The tall grass shook and a tall man appeared. He was dressed in all black, as if he were going to a funeral. I had no idea who he was, but he was clearly not a Linton mansion employee. It wasn¡¯t just because of his clothes. Because no other employee would create such an oppressive atmosphere. While he remained still, only the angled corner of his lip was visible beneath his hat. ¡°I was looking for Count Linton, but I got lost.¡± The man raised his hat. The exposed bright yellow eyes resembled those of beasts. I couldn¡¯t move and stiffened as if I were facing a beast. ¡°What are you doing? Nobody is here.¡± It wasn¡¯t until then that I realized he thought I was a maid. It was reasonable. Without a hat, with my hair messed up by the wind, and without shoes on, who would recognize me as Countess Linton? ¡°Oh, did I make a mistake? I apologize. Since I wasn¡¯t ready for the customs of aristocratic society.¡± But my assumptions were wrong. He took off his hat and made a graceful bow. ¡°Countess Linton, would you please show me around the mansion?¡± Although I was the one who received the greeting, I felt as though I was being made fun of. He introduced himself as Ricardo Bastian. The servants heard his name and went crazy when I brought him in. The Bastian family is a duke family with a right to the throne. The succession rank was low, but it was nevertheless a far better place than other families that lacked qualifications. I changed dress and went down to the drawing room where the man was waiting. As we sat down, an unknown maid served the car with a respectful attitude I had never seen before. ¡°Does Count Linton happen to be outside?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± That man, Ricardo, clicked his tongue and leaned back against the backrest. His long legs were slinking from under the table and toward my seat. I gathered my legs and brought them in. ¡°The Countess¡¯s signature would be enough,¡± A piece of paper was extracted from Ricardo¡¯s arms by reaching inside them. The paper was glossy and luxurious, and it was obvious even from a distance that it was of a high quality. ¡°They say man and wife are one in body and soul, right?¡± Could I say Edgar and I have the same heart? Except for Cecilia, I don¡¯t know Edgar, and Edgar doesn¡¯t know me. We were complete strangers to one another. ¡°Read it, then sign it.¡± I read the paper he handed out to me. ¡°You¡¯re¡­¡± ¡°It is the Duke of Bastian¡¯s declaration that he intends to pass the duchy to me. The throne can be inherited by an illegitimate child.¡± On the paper he handed out, it was written that the illegitimate son would be given the right to the next duchy. ¡°There was no suitable successor, so I had the opportunity.¡± Ricardo scoffed. ¡°Should I say that the Duchess¡¯s foolishness helped me? If the duchess had not said she would follow if the majority agreed, the opportunity would not have existed.¡± Ricardo seemed to be used to discussing his circumstances openly. Is it because he thinks that by exposing himself before his adversary tackles his weakness, it won¡¯t be used against him as such? I used to do it that way too. But regrettably, that didn¡¯t work out well for me. In contrast to this place, which has a clearly hierarchical society, the world I have lived in is a democratic society in which everyone is equal, because there was no justification for restricting freedom of speech. ¡°Is it urgent?¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t it look like that?¡± ¡°Then I¡¯ll have someone call the Count.¡± It was better to leave Ricardo waiting rather than risk getting in trouble for signing it instead of Edgar. Ricardo may have a higher status, but Edgar was the real owner of this house for me. Sarah, who was standing next to me, silently left. And Edgar will arrive here soo. ¡°Does Countess Linton have a different opinion from Count Linton?¡± Ricardo asked haughtily while crossing his arms. I shook my head. ¡°I don¡¯t want to get involved in anything the Count would be drawn into.¡± ¡°Something needs to be held accountable for it¡­¡­.If you¡¯re an official wife, I think you¡¯ll be able to handle your husband¡¯s temperament.¡± After a little pause in response to my question, Ricardo scowled at me. ¡°That¡¯s not how it is.¡± ¡°I am in the same situation.¡± ¡°Then you must be very offended to see me, Countess Linton.¡± Ricardo mumbled in a dejected tone. He gave off the impression of being weak and alone, as if his unwavering confidence had been deceptive. I could clearly see Ricardo¡¯s tricks. He must possess a strong enough disposition to elicit sympathy from those who will respond favorably to sympathy as well as pity from those who will not. His demeanor revealed how he had behaved up to this point. ¡°Not at all.¡± That could be the reason. The reason why he answered so softly is because¡­. ¡°I am a selfish person who believes that a thorn in my finger hurts more than a deadly illness in someone else.¡± Ricardo¡¯s bright yellow pupil was fixed on mine. ¡°You need to save your time for what you said to the Count later than your difficult situation, and you are wasting time like this.¡± He then started laughing aloud. Chapter 7 At that moment, Edgar walked into the drawing room. ¡°Madam?¡± He alternated between giving me and Ricardo perplexed looks. ¡°You have come.¡± ¡°Count Linton, you have a really good wife, I wish I had one.¡± Edgar frowned. He nevertheless forced a smile onto his lips in light of the standing of his opponent. ¡°I was lucky. Cecilia, I appreciate you serving my guests.¡± Although it was a gentle word, the message was intentionally for me to leave. As I was about to leave, Ricardo intercepted me. ¡°Since you and your wife got together, I would appreciate it if you could sign the papers.¡± I spun around and turned to face Edgar. ¡°I asked you, Madam, why are you looking at the Count? Count Linton, I hear you have a delicate and friendly personality, but are you treating your wife badly?¡± The edges of Edgar¡¯s lips twitched up. ¡°No way. Cecilia, you don¡¯t have to go. Take a seat.¡± I cast a downward glance and sat down in the back seat. Ricardo extended his pen to me after Edgar had signed the document. ¡°Use this.¡± The moment Edgar was ready to give me the pen, he stopped and his body stiffened. ¡°Lord Ricardo is a gentleman.¡± While smiling, Edgar said nothing warmly. For a while as Ricardo went back to his place, Edgar remained silent. ¡°What do you want?¡± The words that followed after the oppressive silence was broken sounded interrogative. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Are you going to revolt in such a way?¡± He shouted fiercely, and I didn¡¯t understand why he was so angry. ¡°Not with Ricardo Bastian.¡± ¡°How in the world can you be talking about that?¡± ¡°That bastard is an illegitimate child. You would be stupid to think that just because he will succeeding the Duke of Bastian, he can somehow improve his social standing despite his background.¡± I at last understood that Edgar thought I was trying to seduce Ricardo in order to get revenge on him. ¡°It¡¯s not like that.¡± ¡°The historic Duke of Bastian has ended. He is giving the duchy to an illegitimate child. Even though there is only one thing left to do¡ªfall¡ªhope it opens a path for that family, who might even go for the throne.¡± As if it had been convinced, Edgar gushed about his points with abhorrent satisfaction. ¡°He may be good looking, but he can¡¯t hide his true nature. I could tell by seeing him talk down to or squeal at them.¡± When Ricardo was present just now, he humbled himself and swallowed his pride; nevertheless, as soon as he left, his attitude entirely changed. ¡°I warn you, uphold the honor of Count Linton.¡± While having an affair with the theater actress, he bragged when he said it. ¡°We could be a pretty happy couple if you lived as quietly as a mouse. Isn¡¯t that what you¡¯re after?¡± As he ran his pen between his fingers, he said. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m not going to have an illegitimate child like Duke Bastian.¡± I blinked my eyes. If you don¡¯t want to have illegitimate children, you won¡¯t have any. ¡°No way, are you thinking about having children with me?¡± I didn¡¯t care if Edgar had extramarital affairs outside. Since I don¡¯t love him anyway. But I had no intention of mixing my body with the body he was playing with. Edgar gave me a sidelong glance. ¡°Count Linton is a family where offspring are rare and precious. I¡¯ll go to your bedroom when the time is right, so wait patiently.¡± I wanted to hit him across his beautiful face. He was unbearably disgusted as he spoke with a smile. I persisted though. Since I didn¡¯t know anything about this world and there was no assurance that I would be able to exist on my own, I needed him for the time being. I¡¯m not interested in Edgar¡¯s affection. It¡¯s clear that he doesn¡¯t care for me, but that was understandable. In any case, Edgar wouldn¡¯t be able to love me as long as my soul was inside Cecilia. I¡¯m not sure why he didn¡¯t love Cecilia either. However, this did not imply that I would tolerate unloving sex. I didn¡¯t want his child or to see his body playing with other women. ¡°Edgar.¡± I used a very sweet tone of voice. ¡°I¡¯d rather you bring an illegitimate child.¡± I didn¡¯t flinch as I watched Edgar¡¯s surprised countenance. ¡°I won¡¯t raise them as an illegitimate child. All I have to do is be their mother. I will keep a secret. Of course, if I were a biological mother concerned about my child¡¯s future, they would look after me as well.¡± I spit it out since I didn¡¯t intend to stay in this marriage for very long. Saying what the cheating man wanted to hear wasn¡¯t difficult. ¡°Are you crazy?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never been so rational.¡± I felt a strange satisfaction as I looked at his distorted face. ¡°I¡¯m not going to have children.¡± I corrected Edgar¡¯s words. ¡°You¡¯re not going to have children from me.¡± To be honest, I don¡¯t want anyone else¡¯s children, but isn¡¯t that what he want? Edgar was stunned, much to his surprise. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t love me.¡± I picked the words Cecilia would say. ¡°Can you imagine the misery a child raised by a couple without love would feel?¡± What I said was ridiculous because many nobles in this empire would have children and raise them indifferently. ¡°At least I don¡¯t want my child to live like that.¡± I knew it was forced, but I didn¡¯t back down from my stance. ¡°It¡¯s a shock to a child when they reach an age where they have no idea how their father behaves outside.¡± Edgar snorted in disbelief. ¡°In the end, you put the blame on me.¡± ¡°No, it isn¡¯t.¡± I strongly refuted it. ¡°You asked me to live as a Madam, not as a wife. I accepted it.¡± With his arms crossed, Edgar raised his chin. He believed that he could express himself however he pleased. ¡°It¡¯s our agreement. You said we could be a happy couple if I did a good job as Madam. You understand that a deal is not a one-sided sacrifice.¡± ¡°I know.¡± Edgar said, carefully processing my last few words. ¡°Even if you don¡¯t think of me as your husband?¡± I agreed by nodding. ¡°I think it¡¯s a fair contractual condition.¡± Edgar sprang to his feet. He stamped his feet while trying to keep his anger inside by closing his eyes. His scruff that protruded moved a lot. ¡°Cecilia.¡± The voice called out to me in a soothing tone. ¡°The Count of Linton must have an heir. It must be a proper heir.¡± ¡°The child you bring will be the heir.¡± I have no idea why the topic was coming up repeatedly. Edgar didn¡¯t open his eyes. Is it because you¡¯re worried you¡¯ll become angry and touch me if you open your eyes and see me? My father used to throw or break objects when he got angry when I was a kid. My mother and I weren¡¯t physically hurt, but that was enough to frighten us into submitting to my father¡¯s control, even though it wasn¡¯t physically harmful. It makes sense that I, having gone through something similar, feared the worse in the setting of trying to hold back Edgar¡¯s anger. ¡°Oh, Miss Elodie, introduce her to me when the time is right.¡± I coaxed him into pursuing an actress from the theater. ¡°Elody?¡± Edgar¡¯s eyelids slowly slid open. ¡°We¡¯re having a dinner party. I heard that she is busy because she is a popular actress. We¡¯ll have to make up for Miss Elodie¡¯s time.¡± After giving me a long look, Edgar sighed and said yes. Thankfully, his rage seemed to have subsided. The name Elody also worked. I promptly asked about the problem that was piling up in the void. ¡°I want to hire the son of my nanny as a gardener.¡± ¡°Do whatever you want.¡± ¡°To prepare for the dinner party, I have a lot to buy, but I need an escort. May I employ a worthy knight?¡± ¡°You claimed that you would play the part of the Countess, but it appears that you already had a plan in mind.¡± I called Elody¡¯s name and showed that I was no longer obsessed with the position of his wife. Instead, Edgar¡¯s anger fully dissipated when I said I was willing to work with recognition as a Countess. ¡°If you need an escort, there¡¯s a knight I know, so I¡¯ll scout him.¡± Edgar said this in a condescending manner, as if he were extending a hand of fellowship. Is he trying to keep an eye on me? At first I was suspicious of him, but I thanked him nevertheless. ¡°And.¡± Edgar offered his final, hesitant order to turn away as he prepared to leave. ¡°Send Ricardo Bastian an invitation as well. Anyhow, he will be the Duke of Bastian, therefore there is nothing wrong in developing a relationship with him.¡± ¡°Yes, I will.¡± Without any screaming or crying, our conversation came to an end. With that realization, I was pleased. Edgar got things done quickly. The following day, the knight arrived. The nanny was not pleased with the knight in formal attire. He greeted me courteously and with the right stance regardless of the nanny¡¯s response. ¡°Lady Cecilia.¡± When Lady was mentioned, Sarah¡¯s cheeks flushed and her eyes glistened. In this case, lady didn¡¯t seem to be a label only for single ladies. I sighed when I realized how much I still needed to learn. ¡°This is Pascal Favreau.¡± ¡°Madam will go out after lunch. Sir Pascal is likewise preparing.¡± Sarah recited my schedule for me. She told me that all I had to do was address this man as Sir Pascal. ¡°All right.¡± ¡°Sir Pascal may occupy the accommodations outside. Tell me if there are any problems so I can help. The Lord will handle it right away.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Sarah waited impatiently for Sir Pascal to continue. He is a young and decent-looking man. I don¡¯t know exactly how old Sarah is, but considering the age at which Cecilia got married, it didn¡¯t seem like she was too old to get married. Pascal bowed his head in my direction before leaving. As soon as he walked out the door, Sarah immediately let out what she had been holding back. ¡°Oh my gosh. He is so handsome.¡± My nanny pinched Sarah¡¯s nose. ¡°He¡¯s handsome. My son is much better.¡± The nanny¡¯s words reminded me of her son. He was also on the good side. Her dark skin and muscular muscles matched perfectly. ¡°But he is a commoner.¡± ¡°You, too, are a commoner! Do you think ¡®I¡¯m confident that everything will work well for you and the escort!¡¯ Get up! The knights are all desperate to marry the noble lady!¡± Sarah covered her ears, pretending not to hear. The nanny grumbled about the knight¡¯s ecological habits. There was a lot of information I could hear. Knights make every effort to blend in with high society and give the idea that they have a noble profession, despite the fact that they have a lower standing than a real aristocrat. The best path for them to enter high society was through marriage. On occasion, the inferior products used less expensive means to boost their reputation. The fact that a married woman was involved made it controversial. They became a charming man after getting into a scandal with a well-known noblewoman. ¡°Even Count Linton is indifferent. What use is it, after all, to bring such a young knight?¡± The nanny kept complaining. ¡°Anyway, they normally attach a skilled, experienced middle-aged knight because the knight guarding Madam rarely engages in direct battle. What do you think?¡± The nanny complained for a while, but I thought I understood what Edgar had planned.